3 Reflections from a sabbatical after Google

I quit Google at the end of July 2024 and I took a work break until mid-January 2025 (when I joined a startup accelerator full time). It would be a miss if I didn’t reflect on my sabbatical experience!

I will describe what I was up to in another post, but in short it was a mix of traveling and hanging out at my home base in Dublin. Here my 3 main reflections!

Not working turned out to be okay

I was concerned about how I will feel about not having a job and how others will react about me not working.

Why would I be concerned? Financial instability: No paycheck coming in. Lack of structure for my days and tasks and accountability from others: Would I get lethargic and waste a lot of time? Uncertainty about the future: Off a structured path so unclear what will likely happen next.

All of the above could make me uncomfortable. The uncertainty, the fear about the future, the lack of direction…

How was I? Surprisingly, pretty great.

I wasn’t worried about finances, because I have worked on my financial mindset for many years. I had a ton of cash in my checking account, enough to cover multiple years of my burn rate. And I was resolved to not worry about spending it. I gave myself a generous budget, similar to what I was spending while employed and at times higher.

This is obviously a very privileged position, but I strongly believe that how we feel about money is only slightly correlated with our financial situation. There are many people sitting on huge savings and investments who are afraid to pull the trigger. There are also people with barely any money making big bets on themselves, figuring things out as they go.

Being resourceful is more powerful than just having resources.

Was lack of structure or accountability a problem? No. I am naturally very disciplined and a good planner. Both traveling and sitting at home - I was never bored, always had a lot of things to do and rarely lacked enthusiasm. Occasionally lacked energy due to doing too much cool stuff or being sick.

I trust my body that if I am lacking enthusiasm to do things I either need to rest more or find better things to do. I might not want to do things 100% (like a run in the rain!), but at least part of me needs to want it.

Other people were very understanding of the idea of taking a career break. In their eyes “I deserved it”, in their eyes “I got this” and that shouldn’t set me back.

During this sabbatical I was living on my own. When I stopped going to work I ended up without having people around me by default, which was a new thing for me.

While working I would always have coworkers and I would usually work from the office. During the forced work from home period, I had my partner there.

When you have a job, you have companionship of people physically around you. You have meetings. You are forced to interact, but you don’t have much choice with whom. Most of my career I had a pretty good set of coworkers. I would get along fine with most and I would usually really like some. Sometimes I worked with my very good friends. But sometimes it would be mostly professional. More capacity for intentional socializing

During my sabbatical I replaced the shallow level socialization from work with a deep and meaningful intentional socialization with my friends. I was also more open to making new friends and I had the capacity to do that.

While working, I wouldn’t do a lot of meeting people for deep conversations after work during the work week. I would either do some sport (e.g. climbing) and have some shallow social interactions there or I would need some alone time to relax or process what has been going on.

While not working, I had much more social energy, I would be up to meet for lunches, coffees, dinners and activities. And I was lucky to have many friends to spread this social load over. I had a lot of amazing 1:1 time as well as very fun group hangouts.

My lack of constraints also allowed me to bond deeper with people through travel. I met really interesting people by traveling to cool events (like Zuzalu Village in Georgia) and I went on several trips when I spent extended amounts of time with various friends which really helped me deepen those friendships.

Intentional socializing is much better

While working I would occasionally have those deflationary social interactions - when someone’s lack of energy or enthusiasm would drag me down with them.

My sabbatical gave me much more control of my social environment and I ended up developing my relationships and feeling very connected even though I would spend more time alone. I had more energy for meaningful socializing 1:1, I would be much more proactive in organizing it and the quality of the interactions was much higher.

Connecting when people are busy with work?

A surprising amount of people are available during the work week for lunches, coffees during the work day or breakfasts or just a random phone call.

There are many people who don’t work or have weird schedules, you will start meeting them once you are on a weird schedule.

If not enough people want to hang out with you or have availability to do it, you might need new friends. That sounds tough, but wait. You are in luck, if you are not working, you have much more capacity to explore for new friends and invest in those friendships.

When you travel, there are likely other travelers you could meet. People traveling solo are especially willing to connect.

There are various events you can join, social sports classes, and even coworking spaces (you can “work" on your own project there). Show up, be friendly and exchange contacts, it really starts that simple.

I redefined what productivity meant to me

One of my guiding principles for that sabbatical was “not rushing”. I also deliberately didn’t plan any major projects, if it felt right, I would do it, if I didn’t, fine, I would let it go.

Unreasonable non work expectations

I would consider myself a driven, ambitious and disciplined person. I was used to getting a lot done: my job, lots of workouts, side projects, doing courses, hobbies, the list goes on and on.

I was aware that what I wanted was ambitious, but it also felt achievable. I wanted it all.

Turns out that I have trouble keeping up with all my goals and expectations even if I don’t work.

I am not dumb, I swear. I prioritize, I kill projects and say no to people. But still, I am sometimes overly optimistic about my abilities to keep taking on more hobbies, healthy routines and projects.

It makes me realize that I was operating in a very unsustainable way and I have to lower my productivity expectations.

Chronic stress

During my work life I would often feel stressed and overwhelmed. It wouldn’t be very severe, but enough for me to be aware of the looming tension.

I would also struggle with sleep, especially waking up during the night and waking up too early - often with intense thoughts about work.

I would usually fall asleep fine, probably due to being exhausted, and if that didn’t work very well, I would take melatonin and that would usually suffice.

I thought that maybe it was anxiety? But researching the topic made me realize that it wasn’t anxiety. I didn’t have a worrying habit, I would just feel a lot of tension and unease - and that was stress from having insufficient resources to meet all the expectations I had.

I know, semantics, but for me realizing that distinction was meaningful as it helped me diagnose the cause.

I also had a major breakup that flipped my life upside down. I started my sabbatical a year after that, but I think I was still somewhat affected.

I have developed a toolbox for dealing with stress during my work at Google and it was very helpful, but still my problems with sleep were persistent. I also had various tools and habits to optimize my sleep, which I was using consistently. I tested many of them and I was very disciplined about following the ones that worked well for me.

Funnily enough, after my stress melted over a couple of months, my sleep improved. That happened, even though my sleep hygiene habits got worse.

Deprogramming the “hard work” culture

I come from a family of hard working people and from a culture that values hard work and effort. I have always seen a value in working smarter, not harder. But at the same time, in my head, you should still work kinda hard, just use your smarts to get X amount more impact, instead of scaling down your efforts to 1 / X.

I think my programming goes like this: hard work is a moral obligation. Some people are compensated more than others (sometimes due to luck, not always on merit), but everyone should work hard to be contributing. It’s like fairness of effort based on everyone being obligated to give their best. Slacking off when other people are working hard is unfair and immoral.

Of course the reality is much more complex than the above! And this is just one set of beliefs. Another set of beliefs could be that I have one life and I should do the best I can to enjoy it. Working and helping others can be a source of meaning and satisfaction that can be one of the sources of my happiness, so I can do that for that. Otherwise I should use work as a means to get enough resources to enjoy life. If I gathered enough money, then it means that I produced enough value for that time. No need to earn my keep everyday.

Internal productivity

Recently I was watching a lecture about writing by Brandon Sanderson and he said something along the lines of: “You are the main product of your writing, practice of writing changes you and makes you a better writer, a different person”. So it doesn’t matter that you will write books that won’t be published. Do the activity for how it will change you.

I found it very compelling.

Ok, it is kinda obvious. You learn skills to have skills - it changes you. You work out to change your body (or keep it up), it changes you! Sometimes you do that to achieve an external goal like impress others or get a job. But it’s more interesting if it’s purely for you.

Internal productivity is when you are the main product of your activities, when they change you.

And it doesn’t have to matter to anyone but you!

My sabbatical was full of internal productivity.

Quality of life vs Quality of the experiencing of life

I think that everyone will agree that ‘quality of life’ matters. But you might be living a “high quality life”, but be bad at experiencing it.

Rushed, detached, reactive, struggling to be present. We’ve all been there.

I have a strong desire to be good at experiencing my life. I want to be present in my experiences as well as process them afterwards and I want to understand both myself and the world as much as possible. I want to live an examined life.

“Oh, this person must live an examined life” - said no one, ever. It’s hard to pinpoint if people take time to do the internal work that is required. Maybe they are simply not sharing it? But I think it catches up to people.

And all this examination takes time! Time that could be spent on more grind that could be yielding visible results! But I think that I worth it, and I will treat it as productive.

So even though I had many days that were neither “productive” or “instagrammable” or “full of stories”. I will never regret time spent on:

Being in touch with myself, my feelings, thought patterns and opinions
Deep conversations - prioritizing them and trying to improve at them
Learning and reflecting

Conclusions

It felt crazy to quit. But I am glad I did. I believe in closing a chapter to start another one. But sometimes you need a break between adventures. And this was a very good one.

It turned out to be ok to not work for a while and have an unrushed and unproductive period. Even if by the end of it I redefined what productivity meant to me!

I had a lot of fun and intense adventures, but I am really glad for the “boring moments”.